Barcidents #1

One lovely evening my homie Gio hits me up to come with him to this bar/lounge spot his peoples are DJing at. I'm always down to get shit faced so why not. When we get there it's totally not our scene (it was a weekend and every dude there had on an argyle v-neck sweater with a button-up shirt under it, dress pants, and shoes. Literally every dude), but fuck it. When free drinks are involved any scene is my scene. So my homie gets some drink tickets and we go to the bar and get semi-shit faced. When the drink tickets run out my homie buys us two Corona's from the bar. We finish our Corona's, throw up the deuces and peace the fuck out.
When we leave that spot we go over to the Smiths party, but that shit was super packed so we didn't even go in. We did run into our homegirl Puja though and she's like "fuck this shit. Let's go back to where y'all just came from". So we hop in a cab and go back.

Allow me to preface this next part of the story by stating that me and my homie are young and grimey (fuck grown and sexy) scumbags. Scumbags in a sense that we hate buying drinks at the bar so we sneak our own drinks in. Don't judge! It's a recession bitches!

On the way back me and Gio tell the cab to drop us off at the bodega, which is a block away from the bar. We both cop two Corona's each and stuff them in our coats.

We get into the spot with our Corona's with no problem. We go down stairs and I hit the little boys room. When I come out I find Gio sipping on his smuggled in beer. Like a russian spy I pass my Corona to Gio incognito style and ask him to pop the cap for me. He takes the bottle, places the edge of the cap on the edge of a table and proceeds by slamming his hand down on the bottle. He succeds and the blue and gold cap goes flying in the air. As if it were planned, as soon as the bottle cap hits the ground we hear someone yell behind us. "Y'all gotta get the fuck out!" We look behind us and it's the barback with an angry snarl on his face. He rushes towards us with his hand pointing toward the ceiling "y'all have to get out. Get the fuck out now!" We look at the barback with a grin on our faces and simultaneously say "nah, we're good!" Which pisses the barback off even more. Then we ask him "why do we have to get out?" The barback continues to yell "y'all didn't buy those drinks from here. Y'all have to get the fuck out." At this point the barback tries to grab my homie by the arm and drag him out. I push the barback off my homie "yo get the fuck off him. You can't physically touch him. Your not a bouncer." The barback runs off towards the stairs. At this point Puja embarrassedly comes over to us and says "what the fuck dude!" And walks away.

The barback comes back downstairs accompanied by the bouncer. The bouncer calmly asks us what was going on. My homie pulls out the receipt he got from the corona's he purchased from the bar about an hour ago. The bouncer takes a look at the receipt (but he didn't look at the time of purchase) and told the barback we were cool and we didn't have to leave. The bouncer handed gio back the receipt. The barback snatches the receipt from gio's hand, crumples it up, and throws it on the floor. He storms off again and me and Gio begin to laugh hysterically. This time the barback returns with the owner of the bar. The barback is screaming at the top of his lungs about how we brought in our own beers and he caught us opening them and how we refuse to leave. We tried to deny the alligations but the owner wasn't trying to hear it. He didn't care. He just wanted us to leave. Gio says to the owner "I'm not leaving till I finish my beer." We finish our beers while the owner of the bar is standing there like a herb and he escorts us out. We give a pound to the bouncer and we blow that joint laughing all the way home. What fucking losers we are!!!